Our 'Twin' Bundles of Joy

Suresh and I are constantly amazed at how alike Shaayla (when she was a baby) and Shayman look. We decided to dig through Shaayla's past photos for a comparison and these were what we found. They both have the same light-up-the-face kind of smile...such a joy.

Thank you, Po Po

It was with much sadness that we drove Shaayla's Grandma to the San Francisco Airport late Thursday night. Six months had gone by in a flash. Poor Po Po barely had time to get over her jetlag and Shayman was born...barely a week after she arrived. Since then, it's been busy busy almost everyday. But I think the greatest joy was seeing Shayman grow, becoming more cheeky and naughty each day. Without my Mum around to help the first couple of weeks, I think Suresh and I would have been running around like mad dogs.

Shaayla also enjoyed Po Po's company very much. Not a day passes by without her asking Po Po to play ball with her or to read her Princess stories to her. At times when my patience had been stretched thin, Po Po would still be very patient with her.

We only managed two very short holidays in the six months. One was to Fort Bragg in June and the other was to Santa Barbara and Solvang in August. We did manage to catch up with our friends at birthday parties and gatherings as well. And of course, Shaayla made a birthday card for Po Po's birthday on Aug 16.

Maybe Shaayla is really growing up. While she was sad that Po Po was leaving, somehow I think she understands that Po Po is going home. She has been great the past few days and we keep reminding her that we'll see Po Po in Nov when we make a trip to Singapore.

Talking Politics with Shaayla

This being the presidential election year in America, Shaayla's school is also taking the opportunity to educate them on the meaning of elections and of course, who's running for presidency. There's no doubt Shaayla recognises Obama and McCain now. She even points out the name 'Obama' on bumper stickers. She's also made up her mind about who she thought would make a better president...

This was how a conversation with Shaayla went one evening :

Me : (pointing to an image of McCain on TV) Do you know who this man is?

Shaayla : John McCain

Me : That's right..just like Obama, he too wants to be the President of America

Shaayla : What's President?

Me : A president is like a leader...just like the line leader when you line up in school? He takes care of everyone.

Shaayla : oh...

Me : So, who do you think will be a better President?

Shaayla : I think Obama

Me : Why? Why not John McCain?

Shaayla : Because I think Obama is a better line leader!

Me : ?!?!?!?

Shaayla's in the Olympics

Shaayla started her new school year in Junior K on August 18 with Merryhill School. It's a familiar place to her as she had been there since Jan 2008 for preschool. She took to her new grade really well and as her teacher, Ms Aimee, says...she's very sociable. She enjoys her classes and even enjoys homework. They receive about 3 to 4 worksheets each day and she's very enthusiastic about doing them (and doing them properly!).

Her school organised the first ever Merryhill School Olympics and they even had an opening ceremony this morning.
Shayman, our little boy, is also growing fast. He just turned 5 months old last week and is now a busy and happy baby. He hasn't yet learnt how to roll over, but has instead got the hang of sitting unassisted.

He also enjoys visits to the park when his big sister will push him on the swing.

Does NETAPP Suck?

Good question. They have been top 10 on the list of "Best Places to Work" by Forbes Magazine for the last 6 years. That was my train of thought when I joined them in Dec. You would think that Forbes Magazine would have certain criteria to fulfill before a company gets on that list. You would think!! I was shocked to find out that they do not provide exit interviews to all those who have left. Their exit interviews are with a 3rd party company (ExitCheck) that contact you, if HR provides your name to them. Tricky isn't it? I have friends who are still waiting for HR or the ExitCheck to contact them for an exit interview. I think you and I know why HR does not provided ExitCheck details of everyone that leaves. I had to email the HR department and ensured that I was contacted to give feedback but colleagues who are still there say nothing has changed. HR basically talks to you, nods their heads, takes down notes and files it away in case there is a law suit. As for correcting executive behaviour that amounts to harassment, they do nothing.

I am not afraid of putting this down on my blog because you will find similar complaints when I left. I specifically spoke to HR and mentioned this to them, although I learnt that they did something about it but it's more of a "Cover my ass" sort of thing, if you know what I mean.

To think that they are No.1 this year was a shock in itself. Once I got news of NetApp getting the top place, I knew for a fact that you never refer to the "Forbes List" at all. I wonder who actually refers to this list. If only I could publish what I went through and send that to Forbes, it would be sweet but why waste time on something that cannot be fixed!!

4 Hole-In-One!

Call it a fluke or call it 'skills', but I scored 4 Hole-In-Ones, albeit it was only at mini golf. But, golf is golf, so I'm glad.

We played mini golf at Golfland at Milpitas on Saturday with Katelyn and Sarah, Shaayla's friends from her preschool. The girls certainly had fun.

Shaayla's Swimming Class

Shaayla had started her swimming lessons with Fremont Swim School about 6 weeks ago. She had really enjoyed her first lesson. But at the second lesson, she got her first underwater experience and was a little apprehensive after that. But we're glad she came round to it and has been enjoying every lesson since.


She completed level 1 of her preschool program and received her first purple ribbon last week. We were very proud of her achievement. Now she's really enthusiastic at each lesson.

A Relaxing 4th of July Weekend

We had a good 4th of July weekend, spent with good friends and good food. Maye and John invited us to their 'country' home up in Sonoma. It was an easy 1.5hr drive up north on the morning of 4th July. Guess everyone was either away or staying indoors, taking respite from the heat.

John's little 'cottage' was tucked away in a quiet neighbourhood, and we had a great time just chilling out in his backyard.

Nicole with Shayman

On Saturday, we had a picnic at Vasona Park, Los Gatos, with Shaayla's good friends, Ryan and Alya. It was too hot for pedal-boating at Vasona Lake, so everyone just relaxed at the park instead. Of course, for the kids, it was the carousel and the steam train ride that was the highlight of their afternoon.

Shaayla and her pals, Ryan and Alya

Goodbye NetApp and Heloo AMCC

It has only been 6 months since I wrote in last my blog where I said goodbye to EY and moved on to NetApp. Now I writing again after having resigned from NetApp to join AMCC (Applied Micro Circuits Corporation) as their Revenue Manager. There were several factors that made the decision to leave easier (e.g. politics, back stabbing and favourtisim).

I am a strong believer of the work environment being the most important factor is how someone performs his/her job. No matter how glamorous the company, if the work environment is bad, then you're not gonna enjoy your work and that ultimately translates to bad business for the company. The company ends up hiring, training, rehiring and retraining. Look at it this way, work will always be there if you're dead or alive. It will not go away, so if youre gonna be dealing with it, might as well do it in a good environment.

From day 1, I had a nagging feeling that I was being set up for failure. That is the worst feeling any new employee can ever have at any job. I had endless amounts of one-on-one sessions with Senior manager and seniors who would pull me to the room and tell me how bad the next employee was. I had never heard or worked at a company that had so many dissatisfied employees who would keep "bitching" about the next guy and say a sweet hi thereafter. Then there was the boss who depended so much on his Senior Manager that he would believe anything she said no matter how obviously it is to everyone else. You felt like you were constantly fighting a loosing battle within your own group. Instead of having problems with various other departments in the organization (which was a normal thing) you were fighting with the people in your own group. How sad is that.

The final straw was when I realized that email communication to me were being "blind carbon copies" or bcc or "better cover kacheng". I was shocked to see that email communications to me were being sent on a bcc to the senior manager. What was worse was that the person sending the emails was from another group (she was previously in my position) and sending email communication to me with a bcc to the senior manager. From that day on I lost respect for both of them. And what was worse was that when I told my boss about it, he did not do anything.

Now tell me if it was worth staying in such a utterly bad environment worth the 1 year. I certainly would not no matter what the price.

Only time will tell how the environment at AMCC would be but since leaving EY things have not been good for me.

A busy month of June

It has been 1.5 months since our little bundle Shayman arrived. Things were definitely hectic and frenzied the first 2 weeks, but we're all much more settled down now. Shaayla is every bit the big sister - hugging and kissing her little brother, and helping with the diaper changes, even trying to give him his bottle.

Over the Memorial Day weekend, we went cherry picking at Brentwood. It was our first time there and I was amazed at the crowd. Cars were parked all over and people all over the place. Suresh offered to babysit Shayman at home while I took my Mum and Shaayla. She had a good time with her friends at the cherry orchard, where we got peaches and apricots too. It were all over the streets. We then had lunch at Singapore Old Town Cafe at Dublin. The Char Kway Teow was yummy, but can't say the same for the Mee Siam and the Sambal Kang Kong which our friend, Sam, ordered.
In June, Shaayla also started her swimming lessons with Fremont Swim School. It's now the beginning of summer, so it's an excellent time to start learning. She enjoyed her first 2 lessons, but just this week, at her third lesson, she said she didn't like it so as the coach made her go underwater. Well, hopefully she'll get over her fears for it. We can see she really enjoys playing in the water.

June also marked another 'milestone' for Shaayla. She 'graduated' from her preschool on June 4 and will be starting Junior K the following week. There was a little graduation party in school to mark this mini effort. She really enjoyed her teacher, Ms Priti, and her friends in her Intermediate class, hopefully she'll cope just as well in Junior K.

Hello, Shayman

We welcomed our new little bundle of joy, Shayman Ren En Sasidaran, on April 19, 2008. He arrived at 12.43am, weighing 5.5 lbs and measuring 18.5". Shaayla has been a really enthusiastic big sister.

Are we educating our child the 'right' way?

This entry stems from 2 recent events (if they can be called that) that brought to my mind how we're educating our children.

The first incident was a piece of news that came out early this week about 8 teens in Florida, US, who were charged with beating AND video-taping the beating for the sole purpose of putting the video up on the Internet for the world to see. 6 girls cornered and beat up another girl while 2 guys acted as lookout. The victim was comatose when she was admitted to the hospital.

The first thought that came to my mind was - what has happened to this world? People seeking out violence for the sake of entertainment? The kids were obviously wrong, but I think when we step back and think, we ask - what did the parents teach them? Did they teach them violence? Did they teach them that lives do not need to be valued? Where did the parents fail?

As parents, Suresh and I always find us questioning ourselves - are we teaching our child the right way? We hope to impart good morals through practising them ourselves and bringing them up in a loving environment, but what if things go awry? Do we blame ourselves, as parents? Because we have failed in educating our child 'properly'? I believe it must be so, because no child is born with negative intentions. As parents, we nurture them as best we can and hope they can be a good person.

The other incident which also sparked the question of 'are we educating our child the right way?' stemmed from an online discussion topic on a Singapore mothers' forum board that I belong to.

The topic started as a vent on Singapore's education system and developed into a very meaningful discussion among parents on what their pet peeves about Singapore's education and their hopes for it.

Suresh and myself went through the tests and exams type of education system in Singapore and with reports of Singapore's education topping international standards, we begin to wonder if educating our child here (California) was the best option.

We've both come across stories of how Singapore students are expecting to churn out model answers and that virtually guarantees a good exam grade, but is that what we want? A child who excels in exams but who questions nothing? Certainly not. We know where our education brought us and it's not something we want to inculcate in our children.

The discussion highlighted 'scary' things like primary 4 students in neighbourhood schools forced to do primary 6 level maths, handholding so preschoolers can do creative writing, teachers not accepting alternate answers (even though it's right) because that is NOT the MODEL ANSWER. If that is the education system being pushed onto kids in Singapore, then we now know we made the right decision by educating her here.

Much more learning comes from having fun than the ability to recite mindlessly from 100 to 1. Sure we get frustrated with her 'whys' and 'but whys', but we'd rather have a questioning child than a yes/no answering child.

Busy Weekend

Last weekend was a really busy one.

What started as a short trip out on Friday evening for ice-cream turned out to be Shaayla's first movie at the cinema. We were at the San Jose Capitol Drive-In theatre a little too late and failed to catch the 7.20pm showing of "Dr Seuss's Horton Hears A Who". We decided to drive by the AMC theatres at Misson College and luckily enough, there was a 9.20pm showing.

It was Shaayla's first trip to a cinema, so we were rather apprehensive. But she was very well-behaved throughout the movie, and she was obviously paying attention to it as well. It was a good movie with a relatively easy to follow plot, so I guess that made it easier for her to understand.

Shaayla and her friends, Katelyn, Ryan, and Alya

Then on Sat morning, after her usual Mandarin class, we had lunch with our usual friends before heading back home for Shaayla's nap. Suresh had mentioned picking something up from Johann's home at about 4pm, so I needed Shaayla to take her nap, else she'll be cranky.

As it turned out, our friends had arranged a surprise baby shower for me. I was truly caught off-guard and overwhelmed by the amount of effort all our friends did to organize it. It was very very touching and memorable.

Our dear friends who organized the baby shower

And on Sunday, while Suresh took time in the morning to study in the office, Shaayla and I had a relaxing morning. In the evening, we headed off to "Babies R Us" for some last minute shopping of baby stuff, before making a stop at Whole Foods and Wendy's (for dinner). And we still made it back in time for Suresh to catch Star Wars on TV.

No water, but juice ok. Huh?

This confounds me alright!

As usual, I picked Shaayla up from her preschool at 12noon today. For the past few days, she's been bringing a straw water-bottle to school as she's still trying to get over her cough. We want her to be able to get water easily whenever her throat feels itchy, and to stay away from the juice the preschool serves during snack time.

However, today, Shaayla's preschool teacher, Ms Priti, told me that it was NOT ok for Shaayla to drink from her water bottle, if it had water, BUT, that it was ok if it was juice or whatever else!! Huh?!?

And I thought juices in water bottles and sippy cups were the main culprit for the increasing incidences of early tooth decay in toddlers. Where's the logic? Ms Priti explained that Shaayla could drink water from her water bottle, except that she would have to pour it out into a paper cup for her to drink it! Double huh here!! Ms Priti didn't quite understand the logic as well, but explained that it was a 'Social Services' guideline for preschools.

I've read about the 'dangers' of using a sippy cup beyond a certain age & the use of a hard straw (delayed speech development etc), but ok to juice and not ok to water?

This is America for you....

I'm Yelping

Finally, after some harping by Suresh about neglecting our blog, finally sat down for a short entry.

It's true...I've been neglecting this since Suresh came back from Europe. We were busy getting ready for our short Spring holiday down at Disneyland and SeaWorld (which reminds me that I should post something about that here). It was a great extended weekend holiday at LA with Alya (Shaayla's best pal) and her parents. For the parents, it was more about the chance to indulge in authentic Indonesian nasi bungkus from Toko Rame.

Unfortunately, all 3 of us came down with a real bad cold after coming back. We 'house-bound' Shaayla for 3 days and kept her away from preschool. Not only was she getting bored out of her mind, we were mentally and physically exhausted as well.

After her usual Mandarin class last Sat, I was chatting with Soon and Lisa who recommended a new Asian cafe - 37 C - at Fremont. It was supposed to have a wide selection of Asian desserts, much more than Bolansa at McCarthy. The weather was great after Shaayla got up from her nap, so we took a walk around Lake Elizabeth at Fremont before heading off to 37 C for dinner.

The meal menu was disappointing, but since this was more of a dessert place than meal place, we couldn't complain too much. However, the ramen portions were tiny. I usually share a bowl of ramen with Shaayla at Maruichi and it would be more than sufficient for us, but at 37 C, she ate half the noodles and there were hardly any ingredients.

So I finally decided to get registered on yelp.com and post my 2-cent worth of review. I've been going to yelp.com for sometime now to look up recommendations etc, especially on food, but I've never contributed a review. Thought it was high time I said my piece as well.

Finally What I had Hoped for in the Malaysian Elections Came True

March 8th, 2008 will be a day to remember for all Malaysians at home and abroad. The day when people who were born in a country that their ancestors made prosperous, regardless of where they came from have a say in how they want this country to be run. Enough of corruption, cronyism and reckless abuse of power from the "suckers in power". Although I could not vote, mainly due to the fact that I was overseas and there are rules regarding voting for persons living abroad, I made sure that my mother and aunt went out and vote. I sponsored their travel to the voting offices/schools.

When I spoke to my aunt 1 week before March 8th, about going out to vote, her reply was pretty candid. She mentioned that no matter how the Indians vote there was no place for us in this country. Well in that case, all Indians in Malaysia should just pack up and move to Singapore. Why even bother to contribute to the economy and pay taxes if you have no future in that country. This was the mentality that got the Indians ignored in the 1st place. But I am glad to say that they finally united as a race and voted opposition on March 8th. Goodbye Samy...thanks for the years of nothing. He should step down as MIC chairman and leave the country. Cause he has no respect among Indians anymore except for the few that have not used their brains since they decided to support MIC.

The Indians in Malaysia are definitely to blame for the way they have deteriorated through the years cause this is one "God Damn Race" that can never seem to stick together. I have seen that happened within my huge extended family and outside of my family. You would think that this is only happening in Malaysia but to my surprise, a Nigerian colleague told me that in Nigeria, the Indians never seem to be able to work together or help one another out. This is in Nigeria, mind you. Yes!! Nigeria in the continent of Africa, for some of you who don't know where Nigeria is. What the hell, Nigeria! I was taken aback by that comment and realized that it is going to take much more that 1 election to bring the race together as one.

Since coming to the Bay Area and traveling to Europe, I have come across many Indians who hold good jobs and are respected for what they do. I told my father what I saw here and in Europe and mentioned that only in Malaysia are the Indians treated as laborers from the time they arrived in Malaysia in the 1900's till now. Almost a century in a foreign land they call their own and still no progress. I can't think of a word to describe my feelings for this.

I would like to say that March 8th may be the turning point in an Indian life in Malaysia but I have to hold myself back cause knowing what I know about the race, it's going to take much more than just 1 general election to change the mental attitude of Malaysian Indians.

A Pleasant Valentine's Surprise

I got a very pleasant surprise this evening when we came back home after Shaayla's gym class. There, in front of our door, was a very lovely bouquet of tulips in a delicate glass vase. Tied around the glass vase was also a very cute and cuddly teddy bear. It was a surprise Valentine's Day gift from Suresh.....who's still in Munich...sigh....

Unfortunately, I can't take a photo of the actual bouquet as Suresh had taken the camera with him. Here's a picture of what it looks like...from www.gaetasflowers.com

Daddy's Not Around...

The past week has been an extremely busy period. In between trying to recover from a long-drawn cold, I had to start packing for Suresh's 3-week business trip to Europe. It's not his first business trip, but it's the first time he's going to be away for so long, and at a time when I'm trying to cope with the increasing weight of a 6-month pregnancy.

On Sat Feb 2, we had actually planned on visiting the Challenger School open house, but there were just too many errands to run. In the afternoon, we went for the Playhouse Disney Live! show at the San Jose Civic Auditorium. It's our second time seeing the show; the first being in Disneyland last August. This was different because it featured the Little Einsteins (Shaayla's fav), Handy Mandy (not Shaayla's fav), and of course Mickey and the gang from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Winnie the Pooh with his friends Darby and Tigger. After a quick trip to Target, we had dinner at Shalimar. It was only 6.30pm, so the dinner crowd wasn't in yet. But the night wasn't over yet, as I had to make a nine-layer kueh to bring to Maye's place the next day for an early Chinese New Year lunch.

On Sun, it was a busy morning cooking chicken rice to bring to Maye's place. Just before noon, Suresh rushed off for his last massage appointment at Grace Chiropractor as his neck, arm and shoulder were still troubling him.

And on Mon, after dropping Shaayla at school, there was some last minute packing to be done while Suresh took 2 last minute calls from the office. Then, it was a quick trip to Burlington Coat Factory to get a pair of replacement gloves for Suresh (he lost his at a warehouse audit the previous week). After lunch, it was time to leave for the San Francisco Airport. Suresh was taking the 6.30pm flight to London and we planned to be there at 4pm. But surprisingly, the airport was empty, so we had plenty of time for an early dinner. Given the peak hour traffic back to San Jose, it might be a long drive back home.

Tue was a usual school day, but Shaayla keeps mentioning 'I miss Daddy'. She'll look out of the window after her nap and see if Daddy's car is there. After school, she'll ask if Daddy is waiting in the car.

Wed is her gym day. In the evening, we were invited to a friend's house for Chinese New Year reunion dinner (steamboat!). But strangely, Shaayla developed a fever and her nagging cough was still troubling her. Today, I decided to keep her at home and brought her to the PD to figure out if it was something more serious. Seems like she might still have some remnants of her earlier UTI.....we'll see the results tomorrow.

Another 18 days before Suresh will be home......

Shaayla's Bedtime Reading

Here's Shaayla 'reading' her bedtime story. Well, not exactly reading...she actually remembers the words after we read it to her once or twice. But she does recognize a few words like 'a', 'the', 'I', 'is', 'up'.

Shaayla's School Crafts

In the blink of an eye, Shaayla has attended almost a month of preschool. She's really enjoying herself now. She has made many new friends and is quite a darling with the teachers. They've done quite a number of crafts in school and these are just some of them.

The school had a 'Grad for a Day' session yesterday where they were brought to the class of their next grade. So, Shaayla's class was brought to a Pre-K class where they did that messy chocolate biscuit that you see. It was part of math learning as they learned to count the M&Ms.

We've got to register her for the new school year starting in June. But we haven't quite decided if we want to continue with Merryhill or register her at Challenger School. Challenger is known (good or bad) for its emphasis on academics, and is therefore hugely popular among the Asians. But we've read a few comments on greatschools.net about its lack of a holistic education and over-stressed teachers, so we're still in two minds about it. We'll probably be able to decide better after the Challenger open house on Feb 2.

It's Raining Hail

The past few days of wintry cold weather brought a pleasant surprise early this afternoon. We were planning to go out when the heavens suddenly opened and torrential rain fell. But it was tiny hail stones that pelted down! They were more like little chipped ice, but it was great fun for Shaayla who ran out to the patio trying to catch the 'stones'.

Looks like the winter storm watch isn't over yet. The weather forecast is for more rain over the next week with temperatures hovering around 5C.

Brave Little Shaayla

It's been a week since Shaayla started preschool at Merryhill Preschool, and she's doing great. I'm actually pleasantly surprised at how fast she adapted. She cried on the first 2 days, standing forlornly at the fence staring at the carpark and crying 'I want my mummy!' But, by the third day, she only cried when I left her and then she was distracted by her new friend, Julia, at the playground.

On Monday this week, when we dropped her off, she had a slight look of hesitation, but it quickly faded and she smiled and waved goodbye. The rest of this week has been really great. Today, being Friday, is sharing day and she brought a storybook "Max & Mo Went Applepicking" to share with her class.

I had a surprise myself when I picked Shaayla up after school today. A boy, Justin, was wailing his lungs out and covering his ears. Guess the teacher, Ms Pretti, must have thought I looked worried, so she explained that they had a fire drill this morning! She quickly reassured me that Shaayla took it very well and didn't cry at all. When the alarm first sounded, she did ask for Mummy, but she soon calmed down and even comforted her friend, Julia, telling her there was nothing to be afraid of.

Our little girl is getting to be brave and sensible.

How can good religion make people want to do bad things!

This has been bugging me for a long time and I did not know how to express this view of mine without sounding like an atheist. Don't get me wrong, I am a God-fearing man and I used to pray regularly asking God only to bless all my loved ones and thanking Him for all that he has given me (and the occasional "help me pass the exam" prayer).

One fine day while reading my usual "Malaysia Today" blog. I came across an article by one of my most respected Malaysians, Raja Petra Kamarudin or RPK, which made me believe that my views are not insane when it comes to this particular question on religion. "WHY DO GOOD RELIGION WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE DO BAD THINGS." Without getting too much into the details of what I am trying to say, I urge you, to read this article by RPK which echoes my thoughts 110% http://www.malaysia-today.net/2008/content/view/106/38/.

As a parent and a human being who believes in the "All Mighty One", you do not only have the responsibility to educate your children on the aspect of God but also live your daily life in the manner suitable of a person who fears, speaks, prays and believes in the "All Mighty One". But time and time again, it is becoming ever difficult to educate your child when all around you, there are news of humans killing one another in the name of religion (Christians on Muslims, Hindus on Muslims, Hindus on Hindus, Christians on Christians, Muslims on Muslims). It's easy for any parent to educate his/her child on religion when they are young (young minds are easy to mold) or you can always force them to pray or strike fear in their hearts about the after life. But what disturbs me is what did the parents of these people, who kill other human beings in the name of religion, taught them about religion. On the other hand I have come across many people who are atheist who have the greatest, biggest hearts that you can imagine and mind you they have no religious education. I was always been told that religion is suppose to bring the goodness out of people and not the opposite. But year on year, this has become something that is harder and harder to believe in. My mum always says that things happen because God intended it to be that way. If that is the case, then God must be a real cruel god for making humans kill other humans, especially if they are believers in the same religion .

So the question I have for a lot of parents out there is - is a person any worse if he does not embrace any particular religion? For that matter, does a religious devout make a person superior?

Just some food for thought......