Hello, Shayman

We welcomed our new little bundle of joy, Shayman Ren En Sasidaran, on April 19, 2008. He arrived at 12.43am, weighing 5.5 lbs and measuring 18.5". Shaayla has been a really enthusiastic big sister.

Are we educating our child the 'right' way?

This entry stems from 2 recent events (if they can be called that) that brought to my mind how we're educating our children.

The first incident was a piece of news that came out early this week about 8 teens in Florida, US, who were charged with beating AND video-taping the beating for the sole purpose of putting the video up on the Internet for the world to see. 6 girls cornered and beat up another girl while 2 guys acted as lookout. The victim was comatose when she was admitted to the hospital.

The first thought that came to my mind was - what has happened to this world? People seeking out violence for the sake of entertainment? The kids were obviously wrong, but I think when we step back and think, we ask - what did the parents teach them? Did they teach them violence? Did they teach them that lives do not need to be valued? Where did the parents fail?

As parents, Suresh and I always find us questioning ourselves - are we teaching our child the right way? We hope to impart good morals through practising them ourselves and bringing them up in a loving environment, but what if things go awry? Do we blame ourselves, as parents? Because we have failed in educating our child 'properly'? I believe it must be so, because no child is born with negative intentions. As parents, we nurture them as best we can and hope they can be a good person.

The other incident which also sparked the question of 'are we educating our child the right way?' stemmed from an online discussion topic on a Singapore mothers' forum board that I belong to.

The topic started as a vent on Singapore's education system and developed into a very meaningful discussion among parents on what their pet peeves about Singapore's education and their hopes for it.

Suresh and myself went through the tests and exams type of education system in Singapore and with reports of Singapore's education topping international standards, we begin to wonder if educating our child here (California) was the best option.

We've both come across stories of how Singapore students are expecting to churn out model answers and that virtually guarantees a good exam grade, but is that what we want? A child who excels in exams but who questions nothing? Certainly not. We know where our education brought us and it's not something we want to inculcate in our children.

The discussion highlighted 'scary' things like primary 4 students in neighbourhood schools forced to do primary 6 level maths, handholding so preschoolers can do creative writing, teachers not accepting alternate answers (even though it's right) because that is NOT the MODEL ANSWER. If that is the education system being pushed onto kids in Singapore, then we now know we made the right decision by educating her here.

Much more learning comes from having fun than the ability to recite mindlessly from 100 to 1. Sure we get frustrated with her 'whys' and 'but whys', but we'd rather have a questioning child than a yes/no answering child.

Busy Weekend

Last weekend was a really busy one.

What started as a short trip out on Friday evening for ice-cream turned out to be Shaayla's first movie at the cinema. We were at the San Jose Capitol Drive-In theatre a little too late and failed to catch the 7.20pm showing of "Dr Seuss's Horton Hears A Who". We decided to drive by the AMC theatres at Misson College and luckily enough, there was a 9.20pm showing.

It was Shaayla's first trip to a cinema, so we were rather apprehensive. But she was very well-behaved throughout the movie, and she was obviously paying attention to it as well. It was a good movie with a relatively easy to follow plot, so I guess that made it easier for her to understand.

Shaayla and her friends, Katelyn, Ryan, and Alya

Then on Sat morning, after her usual Mandarin class, we had lunch with our usual friends before heading back home for Shaayla's nap. Suresh had mentioned picking something up from Johann's home at about 4pm, so I needed Shaayla to take her nap, else she'll be cranky.

As it turned out, our friends had arranged a surprise baby shower for me. I was truly caught off-guard and overwhelmed by the amount of effort all our friends did to organize it. It was very very touching and memorable.

Our dear friends who organized the baby shower

And on Sunday, while Suresh took time in the morning to study in the office, Shaayla and I had a relaxing morning. In the evening, we headed off to "Babies R Us" for some last minute shopping of baby stuff, before making a stop at Whole Foods and Wendy's (for dinner). And we still made it back in time for Suresh to catch Star Wars on TV.

No water, but juice ok. Huh?

This confounds me alright!

As usual, I picked Shaayla up from her preschool at 12noon today. For the past few days, she's been bringing a straw water-bottle to school as she's still trying to get over her cough. We want her to be able to get water easily whenever her throat feels itchy, and to stay away from the juice the preschool serves during snack time.

However, today, Shaayla's preschool teacher, Ms Priti, told me that it was NOT ok for Shaayla to drink from her water bottle, if it had water, BUT, that it was ok if it was juice or whatever else!! Huh?!?

And I thought juices in water bottles and sippy cups were the main culprit for the increasing incidences of early tooth decay in toddlers. Where's the logic? Ms Priti explained that Shaayla could drink water from her water bottle, except that she would have to pour it out into a paper cup for her to drink it! Double huh here!! Ms Priti didn't quite understand the logic as well, but explained that it was a 'Social Services' guideline for preschools.

I've read about the 'dangers' of using a sippy cup beyond a certain age & the use of a hard straw (delayed speech development etc), but ok to juice and not ok to water?

This is America for you....

I'm Yelping

Finally, after some harping by Suresh about neglecting our blog, finally sat down for a short entry.

It's true...I've been neglecting this since Suresh came back from Europe. We were busy getting ready for our short Spring holiday down at Disneyland and SeaWorld (which reminds me that I should post something about that here). It was a great extended weekend holiday at LA with Alya (Shaayla's best pal) and her parents. For the parents, it was more about the chance to indulge in authentic Indonesian nasi bungkus from Toko Rame.

Unfortunately, all 3 of us came down with a real bad cold after coming back. We 'house-bound' Shaayla for 3 days and kept her away from preschool. Not only was she getting bored out of her mind, we were mentally and physically exhausted as well.

After her usual Mandarin class last Sat, I was chatting with Soon and Lisa who recommended a new Asian cafe - 37 C - at Fremont. It was supposed to have a wide selection of Asian desserts, much more than Bolansa at McCarthy. The weather was great after Shaayla got up from her nap, so we took a walk around Lake Elizabeth at Fremont before heading off to 37 C for dinner.

The meal menu was disappointing, but since this was more of a dessert place than meal place, we couldn't complain too much. However, the ramen portions were tiny. I usually share a bowl of ramen with Shaayla at Maruichi and it would be more than sufficient for us, but at 37 C, she ate half the noodles and there were hardly any ingredients.

So I finally decided to get registered on yelp.com and post my 2-cent worth of review. I've been going to yelp.com for sometime now to look up recommendations etc, especially on food, but I've never contributed a review. Thought it was high time I said my piece as well.

Finally What I had Hoped for in the Malaysian Elections Came True

March 8th, 2008 will be a day to remember for all Malaysians at home and abroad. The day when people who were born in a country that their ancestors made prosperous, regardless of where they came from have a say in how they want this country to be run. Enough of corruption, cronyism and reckless abuse of power from the "suckers in power". Although I could not vote, mainly due to the fact that I was overseas and there are rules regarding voting for persons living abroad, I made sure that my mother and aunt went out and vote. I sponsored their travel to the voting offices/schools.

When I spoke to my aunt 1 week before March 8th, about going out to vote, her reply was pretty candid. She mentioned that no matter how the Indians vote there was no place for us in this country. Well in that case, all Indians in Malaysia should just pack up and move to Singapore. Why even bother to contribute to the economy and pay taxes if you have no future in that country. This was the mentality that got the Indians ignored in the 1st place. But I am glad to say that they finally united as a race and voted opposition on March 8th. Goodbye Samy...thanks for the years of nothing. He should step down as MIC chairman and leave the country. Cause he has no respect among Indians anymore except for the few that have not used their brains since they decided to support MIC.

The Indians in Malaysia are definitely to blame for the way they have deteriorated through the years cause this is one "God Damn Race" that can never seem to stick together. I have seen that happened within my huge extended family and outside of my family. You would think that this is only happening in Malaysia but to my surprise, a Nigerian colleague told me that in Nigeria, the Indians never seem to be able to work together or help one another out. This is in Nigeria, mind you. Yes!! Nigeria in the continent of Africa, for some of you who don't know where Nigeria is. What the hell, Nigeria! I was taken aback by that comment and realized that it is going to take much more that 1 election to bring the race together as one.

Since coming to the Bay Area and traveling to Europe, I have come across many Indians who hold good jobs and are respected for what they do. I told my father what I saw here and in Europe and mentioned that only in Malaysia are the Indians treated as laborers from the time they arrived in Malaysia in the 1900's till now. Almost a century in a foreign land they call their own and still no progress. I can't think of a word to describe my feelings for this.

I would like to say that March 8th may be the turning point in an Indian life in Malaysia but I have to hold myself back cause knowing what I know about the race, it's going to take much more than just 1 general election to change the mental attitude of Malaysian Indians.